The Waiting Game

We’ve decided to just wait until I naturally start a period to move on to the next treatment options. We are leaning toward injectables, but still have time to change our minds. My body needs a break from all of the hormones and medication. I’m the girl who refuses to take Tylenol for a headache and here I am taking fertility meds like they’re sour cream and onion chips (I don’t really like candy.) I’m convinced that I ovulated on Tuesday, so that added to our decision. My crazy mood swings haven’t subsided at all, which is annoying to say the least. I’ve still also had mild pain in my abdomen, specifically on the right side and I’m trying not to google what that could mean. Google is my biggest enemy, and I know I’m not alone in feeling that way. Its the only thing capable of making me abandon gut feelings in favor of exceptional hope-inducing stories like my own. They are exceptions, not the rule and I have to keep telling myself that.

I really don’t want my life (or even this blog) to be defined and consumed by infertility. Today I sat in my new living room, with my two dogs and thought about how utterly amazing it is that we just bought our first home. If you had asked me a year ago when we’d buy a house, I would have guessed 5-10 years, yet somehow I’m typing in my own office with a poodle at my feet. I wrote before about how easy it is to get so caught up in what we don’t have that we forget to enjoy what we do, so today I’ve been doing just that. It is a welcome break to not have the pressure of what’s next looming behind every minute. There isn’t anything we can do between now and when I start my period. Instead of stressing through the waiting game, I’m laying by the pool reading, taking an extra long shower and slathering my face with my favorite Kiehl’s moisturizer, looking around and appreciating the beautiful house that I get to live in. I don’t want to look back at this time and only remember the struggle we felt.

 

 

Sidenote: I finally added a little timeline to my about page, if you’re curious or missed out on our journey thus far.

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